Ingredients
500grams of butter
3.5 cups of plain flour
125grams of crushed flaked almonds
1.5 cups caster sugar
2 teaspoons of vanilla essence OR 2 teaspoons of almond essence
100grams crushed PLAIN potato chips (Barb's comment: I use SMITH's chips)
Method
Cream butter and sugar and essence using an electric mixer.
Now, by hand, add almonds, chips and flour and stir well.
This should be a soft mix. Take teaspoons full and place on greased tray or bake paper on tray, flatten slightly with fingers (or fork). Cook in a moderate oven (Editor's note: about 160 degrees) for 20 minutes or till golden.
When cool sprinkle with icing sugar mix (not cornflour as I did and had to brush off and start again!).
Makes approx 100. Keep well in a sealed container.
Happy cooking :) Barb.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Wise words from Ed
"Work to your strengths and don't deny them"!
Wise words indeed Ed, wise words indeed.
I can't even remember what we were talking about and you popped up with such wise words randomly out of a work related conversation which seem quite appropriate to me at the moment. Even though you have no clue what has been going on in my life.
Thank you Ed.. A conversation with you always guarantees a laugh.
Keep on smilin :)
Wise words indeed Ed, wise words indeed.
I can't even remember what we were talking about and you popped up with such wise words randomly out of a work related conversation which seem quite appropriate to me at the moment. Even though you have no clue what has been going on in my life.
Thank you Ed.. A conversation with you always guarantees a laugh.
Keep on smilin :)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wise words from Aunty Maxine
Life is full of suffering. But out of suffering comes joy, love, tolerance, patience, understanding, strength, resilience and compassion.
Live for the moment, live for today.
Live for the moment, live for today.
One week of solace
Ok, so it's been a week since my last entry. Slack? Hell yes!
So, lets go for a bit of a trip back in time and see if I can remember what occurred excluding gory details such as what underwear I was wearing on which day. However, on that note, I am pretty confident that I did change them on a regular basis, my mind hasn't completely failed me just yet.
Right, so Saturday I had the melt down at the Fruit Market.. Memorable moment, not sure I will ever forget that one.
Sunday: to be honest, I have no freakin clue what I did on Sunday. Clearly, it was a day lost in time.
Monday, The Hobbit arrived early at home, and we drove into work.. Hang on, Mum was there..
Revised Sunday: Mum arrived!
Tuesday: Mum, Aaron and I went off to visit my new best friend Dr O. (the Opthamologist). Test after test after test I actually think that my eyesight is better than it was before the Optic Neuritis.. Maybe the Steroids have fixed me right up! When I asked Dr O. if I could drive he indicated that I have been able to drive all along. "You can see can't you? Then that means you can drive" Grrrr, after my "so called" best friend Dr H. the Neurologist told me not to drive until I got the all clear from Dr O... I wish they would make up their mind.
Wednesday: Mum went home as she had judging duties in The Bay. The Hobbit arrived and I drove to work with her in the passenger seat giving me dutch courage (of the verbal variety, not the alcoholic variety). Got knows we don't want a drunk chick with MS on the roads, I am already dizzy enough.. I wonder if I dye my hair blonde if I could really get away with being a dizzy blonde).. end of random thought. Right now, what are we up to? I think from memory I was in a foul mood this day. I don't really know why.
Thursday!: Took the day off as Doug and Gus the Glaziers were arriving the the kitchen splashback (which by the way looks tremendous). Inspector Gidget was getting under their feet during her Supervising duties, so I decided to lock her in the guest room so they could get on with their job. When I opened up the door the stench almost knocked me over, turns out the pipes behind the bathroom vanity are leaking (again!) and well, let's just say that the water on the floor was a little bit carpety... Unimpressed!
Phone call to plumber and bathroom reno moron (reno only done in August 2009) and plumber is on my door step first thing Friday morning. Reno moron doesn't give a shit, cause.. Well... he's a dodgyarsed moron. The appropriate colour underwear for today should have been brown, because I had the shits.
Friday: Frank the plumber on the door step first thing in the morning. Fixes the Reno moron's fuck up which takes most of the day and leaves at 1300hrs.
I had good intentions of getting to work that day (I was dressed appropriately and everything!).. But at 1300hrs is there any point in driving in?
Waved goodbye to my neighbours who were off on a much needed holiday on the high seas on a cruise to the Pacific Isles, god bless their cotton socks.
Took carpet off cut from foyer to the RSPCA, found the MS Society HQ (didn't have the guts to go in though), stopped at PetCare 2000 for Mentalhead supplies. Then home.
The Hobbit dropped in for a coffee to check out the glass splashback and I went to bed early.
Saturday: (white undies? bad choice of a pub crawl) PUB DAY! Drove into the City and did a team building pub crawl with colleagues.
Sunday: (black undies) A day of peace... Breakfast.. Had a waah, got over it quick smart after I realised I wasn't wearing waterproof mascara (stupid move! Especially for a weekend cause that's predominantly when I have melt downs). Went for a walk around The Markets with Lyndi. Chilled out in the sunshine.. Drove home.. Wrecked.. So camped my fat arse on the sofa (after feeding the Mentalheads) and zonked, had an sms fight with Jason which put me in the mood for brown undies, and a conversation with Bloke which is always rewarding and good for a laugh.
Monday (today): (mauve undies) I've forgotten my MP3 player.. dammit! I heard Colin swear! Holy snappin duck ringtones.. I've NEVER heard him swear before! Six weeks today since I had my cervical cancer operation, which means of course, that I can now officially have a bath!
Today I sent an email about a broken microwave in our kitchen to two completely unrelated people.. Clearly my brain isn't in the right gear this morning/afternoon and I have completely lost it. I need to remember to take things slower and not go at things like a bull at a gate and trust my instinct like I used to be able to do. I need to remember that I am not who I used to be, and I can no longer trust myself.
Off to Aaron's for dinner tonight. Ear still blocked.. I really should go see Dr GP about that.
So, lets go for a bit of a trip back in time and see if I can remember what occurred excluding gory details such as what underwear I was wearing on which day. However, on that note, I am pretty confident that I did change them on a regular basis, my mind hasn't completely failed me just yet.
Right, so Saturday I had the melt down at the Fruit Market.. Memorable moment, not sure I will ever forget that one.
Sunday: to be honest, I have no freakin clue what I did on Sunday. Clearly, it was a day lost in time.
Monday, The Hobbit arrived early at home, and we drove into work.. Hang on, Mum was there..
Revised Sunday: Mum arrived!
Tuesday: Mum, Aaron and I went off to visit my new best friend Dr O. (the Opthamologist). Test after test after test I actually think that my eyesight is better than it was before the Optic Neuritis.. Maybe the Steroids have fixed me right up! When I asked Dr O. if I could drive he indicated that I have been able to drive all along. "You can see can't you? Then that means you can drive" Grrrr, after my "so called" best friend Dr H. the Neurologist told me not to drive until I got the all clear from Dr O... I wish they would make up their mind.
Wednesday: Mum went home as she had judging duties in The Bay. The Hobbit arrived and I drove to work with her in the passenger seat giving me dutch courage (of the verbal variety, not the alcoholic variety). Got knows we don't want a drunk chick with MS on the roads, I am already dizzy enough.. I wonder if I dye my hair blonde if I could really get away with being a dizzy blonde).. end of random thought. Right now, what are we up to? I think from memory I was in a foul mood this day. I don't really know why.
Thursday!: Took the day off as Doug and Gus the Glaziers were arriving the the kitchen splashback (which by the way looks tremendous). Inspector Gidget was getting under their feet during her Supervising duties, so I decided to lock her in the guest room so they could get on with their job. When I opened up the door the stench almost knocked me over, turns out the pipes behind the bathroom vanity are leaking (again!) and well, let's just say that the water on the floor was a little bit carpety... Unimpressed!
Phone call to plumber and bathroom reno moron (reno only done in August 2009) and plumber is on my door step first thing Friday morning. Reno moron doesn't give a shit, cause.. Well... he's a dodgyarsed moron. The appropriate colour underwear for today should have been brown, because I had the shits.
Friday: Frank the plumber on the door step first thing in the morning. Fixes the Reno moron's fuck up which takes most of the day and leaves at 1300hrs.
I had good intentions of getting to work that day (I was dressed appropriately and everything!).. But at 1300hrs is there any point in driving in?
Waved goodbye to my neighbours who were off on a much needed holiday on the high seas on a cruise to the Pacific Isles, god bless their cotton socks.
Took carpet off cut from foyer to the RSPCA, found the MS Society HQ (didn't have the guts to go in though), stopped at PetCare 2000 for Mentalhead supplies. Then home.
The Hobbit dropped in for a coffee to check out the glass splashback and I went to bed early.
Saturday: (white undies? bad choice of a pub crawl) PUB DAY! Drove into the City and did a team building pub crawl with colleagues.
Sunday: (black undies) A day of peace... Breakfast.. Had a waah, got over it quick smart after I realised I wasn't wearing waterproof mascara (stupid move! Especially for a weekend cause that's predominantly when I have melt downs). Went for a walk around The Markets with Lyndi. Chilled out in the sunshine.. Drove home.. Wrecked.. So camped my fat arse on the sofa (after feeding the Mentalheads) and zonked, had an sms fight with Jason which put me in the mood for brown undies, and a conversation with Bloke which is always rewarding and good for a laugh.
Monday (today): (mauve undies) I've forgotten my MP3 player.. dammit! I heard Colin swear! Holy snappin duck ringtones.. I've NEVER heard him swear before! Six weeks today since I had my cervical cancer operation, which means of course, that I can now officially have a bath!
Today I sent an email about a broken microwave in our kitchen to two completely unrelated people.. Clearly my brain isn't in the right gear this morning/afternoon and I have completely lost it. I need to remember to take things slower and not go at things like a bull at a gate and trust my instinct like I used to be able to do. I need to remember that I am not who I used to be, and I can no longer trust myself.
Off to Aaron's for dinner tonight. Ear still blocked.. I really should go see Dr GP about that.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Meltdowns in Winter
Today's melt down was shamedly bought to you by the local fruit and veg store.
I am starting to see a trend.. Melt downs happen on a Saturday.. Convenient really.
I am starting to see a trend.. Melt downs happen on a Saturday.. Convenient really.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
A toast to unintentional haunting ...
It was pointed out to me today that my ex has a Facebook Appreciation page named in his honour. All I could do was laugh. Strangely enough, people think he's a decent member of society.. Frankly I think he is a ...., but, each to their own.
For the purpose of this blog I will refer to him only as @@@@, cause he doesn't deserve a word.
One of his "admirers" states: "Hey @@@@, Sally asked how could she get her knickers back that she left at your place."
@@@@ replies: "Do you have a last name on "Sally"?
Admirer: "Mustang" Sally Jones" **Insert my hysterical laughter**
@@@@: "Let's chat about this offline hon"
Admirer: "Sure but Sally is not happy... She said they were worth fifty odd bucks"
**Insert MORE hysterical laughter from me**
OMG, I needed that laugh, @@@@'s mind must have been going a million miles an hour thinking it was me. I hope this bought on a brain aneurysm!
I mean seriously, anyone who knows me well, would realise that it can't be me. I wouldn't ever spend that kind of money on knickers, let alone leave them behind.
For the purpose of this blog I will refer to him only as @@@@, cause he doesn't deserve a word.
One of his "admirers" states: "Hey @@@@, Sally asked how could she get her knickers back that she left at your place."
@@@@ replies: "Do you have a last name on "Sally"?
Admirer: "Mustang" Sally Jones" **Insert my hysterical laughter**
@@@@: "Let's chat about this offline hon"
Admirer: "Sure but Sally is not happy... She said they were worth fifty odd bucks"
**Insert MORE hysterical laughter from me**
OMG, I needed that laugh, @@@@'s mind must have been going a million miles an hour thinking it was me. I hope this bought on a brain aneurysm!
I mean seriously, anyone who knows me well, would realise that it can't be me. I wouldn't ever spend that kind of money on knickers, let alone leave them behind.
SING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!
[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Message from the Editor...
Apparently my spelling leaves little to be desired by a certain avid reader... Whilst I appreciate this particular person's input and love him dearly, I have the following message for him:
T'is mi blog.. Ifs I's wanna mak spellin mesktaks I wil.. Sew, BITE ME!
T'is mi blog.. Ifs I's wanna mak spellin mesktaks I wil.. Sew, BITE ME!
Words of Wisdom from Lyndi
1."Stop saying sorry" - Yeah alright, Jen and Shaz tell me the same thing, but I just cannot break the habit.
2. "God you can talk some shit" - Yes, yes I do.. Which then lead onto the next WoW
3."You should do a creative writing course!" - Bloody brilliant!
2. "God you can talk some shit" - Yes, yes I do.. Which then lead onto the next WoW
3."You should do a creative writing course!" - Bloody brilliant!
Swiss cheese and floor boards
Day 4 in the salt mines..
CHAOS!!!!!!
The office is abuzz with pigeon poo on shoulders, white shirts, blue shirts and some form of mock scenario going on (unrelated to me destroying the Golf Club of a certain coastal town). I just have to remember to duck whenever I go near the war room in fear of being smacked in the head with a flying acronym.
Only my left ear is blocked. It's starting to drive me a little batty, and I think it might be middle ear because my vertigo is slightly worse than normal.. What is normal?
I am tempted to unplug my phone, would that be wrong? Hmm, I thought so, considering I am expecting a call from a VIP (the P doesn't stand for person). Whoops, I will refrain from using acronyms here, because there is a time and a place, and the blog isn't it!
Lyndi is right, I really do carry on with some shit.
So, Day 3 of floor installation at home, and it's almost done. "Vogel, Vogen or whatever the fuck his name is" (the official name I have given him mostly because I am too lazy to learn the correct pronounciation of his name, but gee he does a great job) turned up this morning to finish it off. So tonight I will come home to a finished floor! No more walking on rough concrete floors, so damned excited it's not funny!
CHAOS!!!!!!
The office is abuzz with pigeon poo on shoulders, white shirts, blue shirts and some form of mock scenario going on (unrelated to me destroying the Golf Club of a certain coastal town). I just have to remember to duck whenever I go near the war room in fear of being smacked in the head with a flying acronym.
Only my left ear is blocked. It's starting to drive me a little batty, and I think it might be middle ear because my vertigo is slightly worse than normal.. What is normal?
I am tempted to unplug my phone, would that be wrong? Hmm, I thought so, considering I am expecting a call from a VIP (the P doesn't stand for person). Whoops, I will refrain from using acronyms here, because there is a time and a place, and the blog isn't it!
Lyndi is right, I really do carry on with some shit.
So, Day 3 of floor installation at home, and it's almost done. "Vogel, Vogen or whatever the fuck his name is" (the official name I have given him mostly because I am too lazy to learn the correct pronounciation of his name, but gee he does a great job) turned up this morning to finish it off. So tonight I will come home to a finished floor! No more walking on rough concrete floors, so damned excited it's not funny!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
ICON training, childrens books and Apricot Chicken
Day Three in the salt mines.
I forgot I was in ICON training today with our sister agency.
The view from the back of the room where I sit with Lyndi and Colin is most appealing, especially when the rest of my colleagues stand up for breaks.
Lyndi has her eye on a certain colleague who she things might be alright for Karra. I am not sure Karra would "tap that" because he might be a bit old for her. I have asked her if she would be interested in a "Sugar Daddy".. Thus far, she hasn't responded favorably.
My ICON scenario involves the destruction of the town I was born in. My plan mostly revolves around the elimination of the Golf Course and Cucumber and Cheese sandwiches being available in Mrs Milsom's Winnebago at the airport before the residents of the town depart on an Airbus 380 en route to the Maldives with a one way ticket in hand.
I am also planning the establishment of some kind of post destruction infrastructure that includes an asylum for wives of golfers who have lost their will to live seeing as there is no longer a golf course in the town (cause I destroyed it in my scenario). There is some concern about the Bus Stop in the main street as well as the Council Chambers, however it's not high on the priority because only about 13 people's careers are at stake.
So far, I have Bloke as the Dozer Supervisor, Colin, Lyndi, Karra and Lee as Helicopter Air Attack Supervisors. Shaz and Jen as Cruise Directors in Boats (it sounded good at the time).
Lyndi has just come up with a bloody brilliant idea... I should go do a creative writing course.. Damned fine idea.. I will look into that, because I have often thought about writing children's books. INSPIRATION!
Anyway, back to whatever it was I was talking about.
I forgot lunch today.
My ears are blocked and have been for a number of days, and everything tastes funny.
Anthony is pinching strawberries, which reminds me I have strawberries and blueberries in the fridge, I better do something with them when I get home from work. What am I going to do with them? Lyndi thinks that I should go and get some merange cups, mix the fruit with some tia maria.. Leave them to marinate while I am having dinner, buy some "shhhhhhhhh" cream (in a can) and put the fruit in cups and then squirt cream all over them. But, the next question is what's for dinner? Well.. "oh... ahhhh" NOTHING.. I will just have the fruit for dinner.
Last nights dinner was Apricot Chicken inspired by Karra who had a craving. Lyndi is going to have Lamb.. Though, now I think she is inspired by the Apricot Chicken.. Please see Mum's recipe below:
A BBQ chicken
A packet of either French Onion Soup OR an Apricot Chicken Curry Mix thingo which is like a Continental mix
An Onion chopped
A LARGE tin/container of Apricot Nectar
A tin of Apricot halves (I cut them in half again so they are quarters, but that's at your discretion)
Due to me being an alcoholic (joking!) I do put in a cup of white wine but that's at your discretion also.
Throw it all in a pot, slow cook it for 40 minutes (or you can cook the onion first with the wine). Serve with Rice.
Right, now.. Back to the destruction of my home town.
MattI is looking for Lyndi.. Cause she has gone to powder her nose. I've told him basically that I am not her keeper. He called me a smartarse and clearly didn't appreciate me pointing her out when she was standing beside him. Lyndi has warned him that I no longer have any decorum. Needless to say I took much joy in paging him to adivse him that she is going to lunch, I should beware of the backlash.
Right, now.. It's lunchtime.
NOTE to Proofreader: Please note that spelling mistakes have been amended 19/08/10 1521hrs.
I forgot I was in ICON training today with our sister agency.
The view from the back of the room where I sit with Lyndi and Colin is most appealing, especially when the rest of my colleagues stand up for breaks.
Lyndi has her eye on a certain colleague who she things might be alright for Karra. I am not sure Karra would "tap that" because he might be a bit old for her. I have asked her if she would be interested in a "Sugar Daddy".. Thus far, she hasn't responded favorably.
My ICON scenario involves the destruction of the town I was born in. My plan mostly revolves around the elimination of the Golf Course and Cucumber and Cheese sandwiches being available in Mrs Milsom's Winnebago at the airport before the residents of the town depart on an Airbus 380 en route to the Maldives with a one way ticket in hand.
I am also planning the establishment of some kind of post destruction infrastructure that includes an asylum for wives of golfers who have lost their will to live seeing as there is no longer a golf course in the town (cause I destroyed it in my scenario). There is some concern about the Bus Stop in the main street as well as the Council Chambers, however it's not high on the priority because only about 13 people's careers are at stake.
So far, I have Bloke as the Dozer Supervisor, Colin, Lyndi, Karra and Lee as Helicopter Air Attack Supervisors. Shaz and Jen as Cruise Directors in Boats (it sounded good at the time).
Lyndi has just come up with a bloody brilliant idea... I should go do a creative writing course.. Damned fine idea.. I will look into that, because I have often thought about writing children's books. INSPIRATION!
Anyway, back to whatever it was I was talking about.
I forgot lunch today.
My ears are blocked and have been for a number of days, and everything tastes funny.
Anthony is pinching strawberries, which reminds me I have strawberries and blueberries in the fridge, I better do something with them when I get home from work. What am I going to do with them? Lyndi thinks that I should go and get some merange cups, mix the fruit with some tia maria.. Leave them to marinate while I am having dinner, buy some "shhhhhhhhh" cream (in a can) and put the fruit in cups and then squirt cream all over them. But, the next question is what's for dinner? Well.. "oh... ahhhh" NOTHING.. I will just have the fruit for dinner.
Last nights dinner was Apricot Chicken inspired by Karra who had a craving. Lyndi is going to have Lamb.. Though, now I think she is inspired by the Apricot Chicken.. Please see Mum's recipe below:
A BBQ chicken
A packet of either French Onion Soup OR an Apricot Chicken Curry Mix thingo which is like a Continental mix
An Onion chopped
A LARGE tin/container of Apricot Nectar
A tin of Apricot halves (I cut them in half again so they are quarters, but that's at your discretion)
Due to me being an alcoholic (joking!) I do put in a cup of white wine but that's at your discretion also.
Throw it all in a pot, slow cook it for 40 minutes (or you can cook the onion first with the wine). Serve with Rice.
Right, now.. Back to the destruction of my home town.
MattI is looking for Lyndi.. Cause she has gone to powder her nose. I've told him basically that I am not her keeper. He called me a smartarse and clearly didn't appreciate me pointing her out when she was standing beside him. Lyndi has warned him that I no longer have any decorum. Needless to say I took much joy in paging him to adivse him that she is going to lunch, I should beware of the backlash.
Right, now.. It's lunchtime.
NOTE to Proofreader: Please note that spelling mistakes have been amended 19/08/10 1521hrs.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
First day back...
What an emotional rollercoaster that was!
Sharon "The Hobbit" has been driving me to work while I am banished from getting behind the wheel. We got into the office at 0830hrs... I didn't get to my desk until 1030hrs. Questions, questions, questions...
My colleagues have been super supportive and understanding. It's amazing how bad news travels fast in this place. I guess it really does show that people care, and that we are just one big happy family here.
God came and saw me today.. We had a bit of chat. He has been a pillar of strength and has ensured that I have a sounding board.
I am glad to be back at work, I need the routine, I need the chatter, I need the pisstaking mostly I need the interaction.
These people are crazy, but god I love them.
Sharon "The Hobbit" has been driving me to work while I am banished from getting behind the wheel. We got into the office at 0830hrs... I didn't get to my desk until 1030hrs. Questions, questions, questions...
My colleagues have been super supportive and understanding. It's amazing how bad news travels fast in this place. I guess it really does show that people care, and that we are just one big happy family here.
God came and saw me today.. We had a bit of chat. He has been a pillar of strength and has ensured that I have a sounding board.
I am glad to be back at work, I need the routine, I need the chatter, I need the pisstaking mostly I need the interaction.
These people are crazy, but god I love them.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Words of Wisdom from Wendy
Wendles says "Tell us about how you are coping being stuck at home (I could relate). Maybe we can give you some ideas to help with any boredom?"
I've had plenty to do at home.. Because of the kitchen reno, I've had painting and little things to do. I've done a bit of a cull of equipment in the kitchen to go to good will, I've been able to do some of those dreadful jobs that have been loitering such as cleaning up the back shed and garage.
I've found medical information and x-rays for the purpose of showing my Neurologist.. I've gone through the food in my pantry and thrown out anything out of date.
There has been moments of boredom, however I have come online and blogged or chatted on MSN. The phone has been well used from loved ones checking on me and making sure I am not wallowing (there has been some of that in the last two weeks to be honest).
I've had the two monsters to keep me company (though I wouldn't recommend their chicken soup).. Gidget hasn't left my side.. Cali is indifferent, but does know that something is going on because she hasn't really strayed far either.
So, I haven't been that bored, nor have I gone without anything because the shops are a 15 minute walk away.
I've had plenty to do at home.. Because of the kitchen reno, I've had painting and little things to do. I've done a bit of a cull of equipment in the kitchen to go to good will, I've been able to do some of those dreadful jobs that have been loitering such as cleaning up the back shed and garage.
I've found medical information and x-rays for the purpose of showing my Neurologist.. I've gone through the food in my pantry and thrown out anything out of date.
There has been moments of boredom, however I have come online and blogged or chatted on MSN. The phone has been well used from loved ones checking on me and making sure I am not wallowing (there has been some of that in the last two weeks to be honest).
I've had the two monsters to keep me company (though I wouldn't recommend their chicken soup).. Gidget hasn't left my side.. Cali is indifferent, but does know that something is going on because she hasn't really strayed far either.
So, I haven't been that bored, nor have I gone without anything because the shops are a 15 minute walk away.
CT Scan
Yesterday I found the CT Scan I have been looking for.
It's dated 18 January 2000. Wow, 10 years ago..
It reads:
CT Brain:
Clinical history of increading memory loss of the last six months is noted.
5mm adial sections of the skull base and 10mm axial sections of the rest of the brain to the vertex pre and post contrast were performed (wtf?).
No focal abnormal attenuation is noted in brain parenchyma (yay! I think). Ventricles and sulci appear normal. No midline shifting is noted. No abnormal enhancement is noted after IV contrast.
Conclusion:
No abnormality is noted.
Now, ordinarily that is great.. However, it really upset me. If the Neurologist says that I have had MS for "sometime" due to the deteriation of my brain now, does that mean that something wasn't picked up back in 2000?
Am I thinking about this too much? Most probably. But regardless of that, it did certainly mess with my emotions (hence last night's blog).
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It's dated 18 January 2000. Wow, 10 years ago..
It reads:
CT Brain:
Clinical history of increading memory loss of the last six months is noted.
5mm adial sections of the skull base and 10mm axial sections of the rest of the brain to the vertex pre and post contrast were performed (wtf?).
No focal abnormal attenuation is noted in brain parenchyma (yay! I think). Ventricles and sulci appear normal. No midline shifting is noted. No abnormal enhancement is noted after IV contrast.
Conclusion:
No abnormality is noted.
Now, ordinarily that is great.. However, it really upset me. If the Neurologist says that I have had MS for "sometime" due to the deteriation of my brain now, does that mean that something wasn't picked up back in 2000?
Am I thinking about this too much? Most probably. But regardless of that, it did certainly mess with my emotions (hence last night's blog).
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Gidget sitting on my CT (cat) Scan's. Seemed appropriate.
At the stroke of midnight..
Why is it at night that I start to feel like having a melt down?
Tonight I can't sleep. My mind is running a marathon, or at least trying to.
Tonight is different, tonight I am asking that question that everyone said I would.. and I said I wouldn't.
WHY ME?
What is the purpose of this condition? Why does it even exist? Is there a god? Maybe I am the weakest link and it's time to start to weed me out, but leave me with enough capacity to do some good before I meet my demise?
Tonight as I stood in the shower, enjoying the hot water on a chilly night.. I stared at the floor. Those grey floor tiles and I cursed the bathroom reno guy for not following my instructions in leaving out the shower hub because I thought to myself "how am I going to get a wheelchair in here?".. What kind of thoughts are those? I mean .. seriously.. what am I thinking?
Who seriously wants to get a phone call at midnight from a blubbering fool who is crying over a fucking shower hub? But secretly thinks "I am probably going to have to have someone shower me in a few years.." what kind of life is that? So, my chosen victim is more than likely bedded down for the night, and should think themselves lucky they didn't answer their text.
Tonight I can't sleep. My mind is running a marathon, or at least trying to.
Tonight is different, tonight I am asking that question that everyone said I would.. and I said I wouldn't.
WHY ME?
What is the purpose of this condition? Why does it even exist? Is there a god? Maybe I am the weakest link and it's time to start to weed me out, but leave me with enough capacity to do some good before I meet my demise?
Tonight as I stood in the shower, enjoying the hot water on a chilly night.. I stared at the floor. Those grey floor tiles and I cursed the bathroom reno guy for not following my instructions in leaving out the shower hub because I thought to myself "how am I going to get a wheelchair in here?".. What kind of thoughts are those? I mean .. seriously.. what am I thinking?
Who seriously wants to get a phone call at midnight from a blubbering fool who is crying over a fucking shower hub? But secretly thinks "I am probably going to have to have someone shower me in a few years.." what kind of life is that? So, my chosen victim is more than likely bedded down for the night, and should think themselves lucky they didn't answer their text.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
How do you feel?
Dizzy and jittery.. Could be because I am SERIOUSLY over the kitchen renovation. I am convinced that it will NEVER be finished.
Or, it could be the paint fumes..
I think it's chocolate pudding time.
Or, it could be the paint fumes..
I think it's chocolate pudding time.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Frustration...
Not being able to drive is becoming very frustrating for me.
Today I tried to get in to see my new best friend the Opthamologist Dr O. Lo and behold he is booked out till mid September, it's a good thing I have an appointment on the 24th August, but it's still a week away. Then another appointment with my other new best friend my Neurologist Dr H. at the Hospital on the 7th September to tell me how much irreparable damage has been done to my poor old brain.
I struggle with the lack of Independence. I detest having to rely on other people, and feel like I am a real inconvenience.
I can hear you groaning right now as you read this. Now stop groaning.. Resist the urge to ring me and abuse me, cause lets face it, this is MY blog and the only way I am expressing myself. So, let me have my say while I can manage to string a sentence together and not forget what I am saying halfway though.
I made a quiche today :)
I understand that at some point in time I have to give up my independence but let me tell you, it's going to be a struggle and I won't be happy about it.
Today I tried to get in to see my new best friend the Opthamologist Dr O. Lo and behold he is booked out till mid September, it's a good thing I have an appointment on the 24th August, but it's still a week away. Then another appointment with my other new best friend my Neurologist Dr H. at the Hospital on the 7th September to tell me how much irreparable damage has been done to my poor old brain.
I struggle with the lack of Independence. I detest having to rely on other people, and feel like I am a real inconvenience.
I can hear you groaning right now as you read this. Now stop groaning.. Resist the urge to ring me and abuse me, cause lets face it, this is MY blog and the only way I am expressing myself. So, let me have my say while I can manage to string a sentence together and not forget what I am saying halfway though.
I made a quiche today :)
I understand that at some point in time I have to give up my independence but let me tell you, it's going to be a struggle and I won't be happy about it.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
From the very beginning...
Stay with me with this, it's a big long winded and somewhat boring/confusing...
Picture yourself on a cruise.. a P&O Cruise, laying on a deck chair, the sun is shining, you can hear the faint sound of waves of the ocean lapping on the side of the boat and the ice clinking in your lemon, lime and bitters. You can see nothing but ocean.
Wish it was you? Yeah.. Me to.
Here's the reality.
This is the holiday I was having before facing surgery for cervical cancer four days after I got back to Sydney. This is the holiday I needed so I could chill out after a stressful few years at work. This is the holiday before I started major renovations on my house when I got back.
On a P&O cruise with a head cold, fortunately, no sea sickness. Battled with headaches and annoying cough for more or less the whole 10 nights. Poor loving sister for having to share a cabin with me. Stressing out about surgery on the 19th July and secretly wishing I had taken more time off work to have some "me" time.
Get back to Sydney on the 15th July. Cervical Op on the 19th. Somewhere between those dates I lost 90% of my vision in my right eye, experiencing headache around the eye socket and pressure behind the eye. Everything was in a fog on my right hand side. Thinking it was stress, I pretty much ignored it and carried on regardless.
Eventually it got the better of me, and I went to see my GP.. Just my luck, they are closed for a system upgrade. So off to a neighbouring suburb I go to see another GP who informs me that I have a sinus infection behind the eye and to take a course of antibiotics and "you'll be right". Gut instinct told me to get a second opinion, so the next day I finally got in to see my own GP. She said that GP no.1 could be right or it could be something more sinister and referred me to an Ophthalmologist (eye specialist) the very next day.
Wow, I didn't realise how draining it would be to write about this. *deep breath*.
Picture yourself on a cruise.. a P&O Cruise, laying on a deck chair, the sun is shining, you can hear the faint sound of waves of the ocean lapping on the side of the boat and the ice clinking in your lemon, lime and bitters. You can see nothing but ocean.
Wish it was you? Yeah.. Me to.
Here's the reality.
This is the holiday I was having before facing surgery for cervical cancer four days after I got back to Sydney. This is the holiday I needed so I could chill out after a stressful few years at work. This is the holiday before I started major renovations on my house when I got back.
On a P&O cruise with a head cold, fortunately, no sea sickness. Battled with headaches and annoying cough for more or less the whole 10 nights. Poor loving sister for having to share a cabin with me. Stressing out about surgery on the 19th July and secretly wishing I had taken more time off work to have some "me" time.
Get back to Sydney on the 15th July. Cervical Op on the 19th. Somewhere between those dates I lost 90% of my vision in my right eye, experiencing headache around the eye socket and pressure behind the eye. Everything was in a fog on my right hand side. Thinking it was stress, I pretty much ignored it and carried on regardless.
Eventually it got the better of me, and I went to see my GP.. Just my luck, they are closed for a system upgrade. So off to a neighbouring suburb I go to see another GP who informs me that I have a sinus infection behind the eye and to take a course of antibiotics and "you'll be right". Gut instinct told me to get a second opinion, so the next day I finally got in to see my own GP. She said that GP no.1 could be right or it could be something more sinister and referred me to an Ophthalmologist (eye specialist) the very next day.
Wow, I didn't realise how draining it would be to write about this. *deep breath*.
Only the best... Somewhat.
A friend recently said:
"Any normal person would just go for Single Sclerosis, but of course you "had" to have more ;)"
Only the best for me! Yes, I have had a bad run, but I figure I have two options.. 1. Wallow in the shit that has gone down and become a victim.. OR 2. Take a spoonful of cement and harden the fuck up and get on with life. It could be worse, I could step out on the road and be hit by a garbage truck and be a vegetable surrounded by flies for the rest of my life.
I figure I have a second chance now. I guess I should stop mucking around and start to spend less time at work and concentrate on my personal life. Maybe it's time I got serious, finish off these house renovations and get my arse into gear.
Eventually I might need a carer, someone to wipe my bottbott. I guess if I was the victim of a garbologist I wouldn't be aware of the poor soul with the unpleasant task of changing my nappy (note to self: buy pegs and duct tape).
I have found that there is a group of MS Teamsters who meet in a neighbouring suburb. I am not sure what they do, I am not even sure if I should approach/contact them. Am I ready for that? Support units, I guess they have a purpose and it might be good to make new friends especially if they can offer some answers to the questions that are rolling around in my head.
"Any normal person would just go for Single Sclerosis, but of course you "had" to have more ;)"
Only the best for me! Yes, I have had a bad run, but I figure I have two options.. 1. Wallow in the shit that has gone down and become a victim.. OR 2. Take a spoonful of cement and harden the fuck up and get on with life. It could be worse, I could step out on the road and be hit by a garbage truck and be a vegetable surrounded by flies for the rest of my life.
I figure I have a second chance now. I guess I should stop mucking around and start to spend less time at work and concentrate on my personal life. Maybe it's time I got serious, finish off these house renovations and get my arse into gear.
Eventually I might need a carer, someone to wipe my bottbott. I guess if I was the victim of a garbologist I wouldn't be aware of the poor soul with the unpleasant task of changing my nappy (note to self: buy pegs and duct tape).
I have found that there is a group of MS Teamsters who meet in a neighbouring suburb. I am not sure what they do, I am not even sure if I should approach/contact them. Am I ready for that? Support units, I guess they have a purpose and it might be good to make new friends especially if they can offer some answers to the questions that are rolling around in my head.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A purpose to seek NORMAL
The purpose of this blog is to establish some form of vehicle to publish my thoughts, record happenings, review how I feel since my diagnosis and establish what is NORMAL for me. It will also serve as a tool for me to remember what I have experienced, seeing as the grey matter is failing.
Normal… What is normal now? Is this normal? Or as normal as I am going to be? Because if it is, and you are reading this as one of my friends or family members, I humbly apologise, it can’t be easy.
I THOUGHT I was normal until I found out I had six (6) lesions in my brain. Surely they have been altering my day to day life in some way shape or form. So what I think is normal, isn't.
I am becoming more aware of loosing my words, or getting my worms (words) wrong. I think I am saying the right thing, but it comes out all wrong. I guess writing this blog is a good way of expressing myself with the handy ability of the edit functions and delete buttons.
Normal… What is normal now? Is this normal? Or as normal as I am going to be? Because if it is, and you are reading this as one of my friends or family members, I humbly apologise, it can’t be easy.
I THOUGHT I was normal until I found out I had six (6) lesions in my brain. Surely they have been altering my day to day life in some way shape or form. So what I think is normal, isn't.
I am becoming more aware of loosing my words, or getting my worms (words) wrong. I think I am saying the right thing, but it comes out all wrong. I guess writing this blog is a good way of expressing myself with the handy ability of the edit functions and delete buttons.
Quality of Life?
Quality of life…… What thoughts do they conjur up in your mind when you hear them?
“Lets talk about your quality of life”…
Scares the pants off me.. I am not dying.. I might be rotting from the inside out in some way shape or form, but I am certainly not dying. So does this mean that I will have to be on medications for the rest of my life? When I jump up and down not only will I get black eyes from my boobs, but I will sound like a baby’s rattle? Good lord, I am not sure I am ready for that.
“Lets talk about your quality of life”…
Scares the pants off me.. I am not dying.. I might be rotting from the inside out in some way shape or form, but I am certainly not dying. So does this mean that I will have to be on medications for the rest of my life? When I jump up and down not only will I get black eyes from my boobs, but I will sound like a baby’s rattle? Good lord, I am not sure I am ready for that.
Life's like... a box of chocolates
As I sat on the couch tonight with one of my nearest and dearest, we discussed the establishment of a blog to keep my mind active and to record activities.
While we sat on the couch we took advantage of an innocent box of lindt chocolates.. On the back of the box, it said "Best Before End" as the used by date. It seemed appropriate.
So, life really is like a box of chocolates.. It's best before the end! Thanks Forrest Gump!
While we sat on the couch we took advantage of an innocent box of lindt chocolates.. On the back of the box, it said "Best Before End" as the used by date. It seemed appropriate.
So, life really is like a box of chocolates.. It's best before the end! Thanks Forrest Gump!
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