If I was a Superhero....

The reason why I am called "Spiderpants" by some close friends.

I used to own a 2br unit in the West.. It was quaint, sunny and homely. It had two balconies, one off the lounge room that overlooked the driveway and car park and another off the main bedroom that overlooked the clotheslines of which I rarely used in the five (5) years that I lived there, I used a clothes horse on the balcony.

One particular day I was bringing in the washing that was on the bedroom balcony and dumping it on the bed whilst talking to a good friend of mine. At some point during this process I realised that I had inadvertently provided transport for a large hairy spider of some description, at this point I screamed, jumped up and down flapping my arms around like an emu trying to take flight all whilst still on the phone. Needless to say, the phone was dropped and I managed to scoop the spider up in a work skirt, hooking my thumb into the belt loop, I ran onto the balcony and flung the shirt high in the air knowing it was securely hooked around my thumb, thus flinging the spider far far away whilst keeping the skirt secure.

What I didn't factor into this maneuver was if there were any other articles hooked up in the skirt. Sadly, whilst I kept my skirt I watched the spider go soaring through the air closely followed by a pair of my black lacy knickers which lost momentum and floated to a gentle landing on the balcony of my neighbour directly below who happened to be a young single guy.

CRAP!  How am I going to get them back without drawing attention?

Where is the fishing rod? I fly down to the garage.. No fishing rod.. Damn!

So, I made an executive decision.. They can stay there until he (or a poor unsuspecting girlfriend) removes them.. I figure it's best to cut my losses and not say a damned thing, let him wonder how a pair of lacy black knickers got on the balcony.

Needless to say, those knickers stayed on that balcony for a good few weeks before being thrown off the edge. 

I then sent them to knicker heaven... They had served their purpose in this life. It was time for them to have some peace.