The Mentalheads...

For the purpose of this post, previous and future posts, and to protect the innocent I will refer to my two crazy cats as the "Mentalheads".

 Mostly I refer to them as the "Mentalheads" because they are exactly that.  Special little furry people who are mental.

Cali:
Is 7 years old. She has the biggest bluest eyes and when they look up at me they say "FEED ME because I am a staving little beafrian".

Cali's favorite pass times include:

• Frolicking in the backyard she can go eat grass and vomit it back up again right at the back door so you can step in it when you walk out.
• Harassing the Indian Minor Birds that perch on the neighbour's TV aerial.
• Ignoring humans.
• Practicing safe "stranger danger" drills by hiding in the coffee table when there is a strange noise or knock at the door.
• Avoiding the vacuum cleaner at all costs, regardless of whether it is being used or not. It is important to take precautions and give it a wide berth when walking past just in case it roars into life unexpectedly.
• Pooing in the bathtub.
• Catching moths and crickets and bringing them to me as presents.
• Carrying around her best buddy "Playbear" who is a purple stuffed bear and talking to him, mostly late at night.
• Plotting Gidget's demise.
• Opening cupboards and doors just for shits n giggles.
• Using the hallway as a runway.
• Quality assurance checks on groceries.
• Spending quality time with her Pa, Ma and Aunty Kez.

Gidget:
Is roughly about 4 years old.  She chose me.  She had been abandoned at a Hotel in Gundagai that I was staying at whilst I was on a work junket.  My fellow colleagues peer pressured me into taking her home because I was the only human she would go to or have a bar of. 

Gidget is deaf and does not understand the difference between an "inside voice" and an "outside voice", however this does not stop me from yelling at her when needed, then realising that there is no point to it.

I have a recording of the average morning vocals on my mobile as my sms tone. This serves a few purposes:

• It is great to see people's reactions in random places such as lifts, shopping centres and Chinese restaurants.
• It reminds me that I should be home at reasonable hours so I do not get a lecture as I drive in the driveway.
• It is different to everyone else's ring tones. So I don't have to do the "quick draw" when in a meeting and everyone has their iphone set to the same sms tone because they don't know how to change it, 12 o'clock flasher style.  

 There is a picture of Gidget in a previous post sitting on my CT Scans. 

 Gidget's favorite pass times include:

• Chasing a laser light up and down the hallway.
• Harassing Cali when she is trying to use the "kitten's powder room"
• Plotting the death of "Cindy" the neighbourhood stray who looks remarkably like her and is her arch Nemesis.
• Telling the world just how she feels by expressing herself vocally with no decorum whatsoever.
• Headbutting an intended victim, sometimes continuously to get her point across. The chosen victim may have no idea what her point is and move away in confusion.
• Dominating the sofa.
• Lying in the front window of the house waiting for me to arrive home. Then proceeding to voice loudly in disgust at the late hour in which I choose to come home by pacing backwards and forwards up the window sill meowing, again with no decorum.
• Visiting neighbours which could also be seen as "Neighbourhood Patrol".
• Assisting in the mowing of lawns, gardening and hanging out of washing.
• Supervising tradesmen (which includes headbutting and voicing her opinion on their workmanship).
• Spreading as much kitty litter around the laundry as kittenly possible.
• Supervising human toilet breaks and shower rituals.
• Harassing her Pa, Ma, Aunty Kez and Aunty Karra.
• Swearing at Vets (oh my bleeding ears!).
• Mousing (which for a deaf cat, she is pretty darn good at).

I hope this clears up your questions about who the "Mentalheads" are.  :)