Scoring tonights Roast Pork....

2302hrs: The score is Aaron 6, Sal 8 and Barb 4.  Wish Dad was here.

A baby's rattle for Baby Cedric....

After a visit to the Pharmacy today and I spent an ASTRONOMICAL amount of $$ on friggin vitamins and am now on a cocktail of colourful pills ranging from a little pill to something that resembles a suppository for a horse (or other large mammal, please feel free to use your imagination on that one).

I am now supplementing my diet with the following:

Vitamin D3 1000IU x2 in summer x4 in winter
St John's Wart (stress and anxiety)
Ginko Biloba (mental stamina)
Multi vitamin
Fish Oil
Iron and Vit C

I figure there are a few bonus's to this new regime of pill taking:

1. I will drink more water, because I reckon I need about 500mls of water just to be able to swallow them all.
2. I will double as a baby's rattle (I am considering hiring myself out to be used as such - the income I receive from this service may actually pay for the pharmacy bills).
3. I may actually feel better in the long run.
4. I could make a mosaic out of the pills when I get sick of taking them and sell it on eBay.

If you can think of other bonus's please feel free to advise.

I know I said that I wouldn't end up like this, but it really is just a trial.. Lets see how I feel after one month.. Will becoming a babies rattle make me feel any better?

Today is day 1 of the trial...  Let's hope that I can remember to take the supplements on a daily basis.. Readers please feel free to remind me at regular intervals :)

Anyone for roast tofu?

Hmmmm yum.. Sounds delicious doesn't it?

I sit here with Mum and Aaron having finished a lovely roast pork dinner with all the trimmings to test the new oven, Mum is reading "Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis" by Professor George Jelinek.

They are reading all about the diet that a person with MS should have. Cut out animal fats, diary products and hidden saturated fats.  He suggests calling yourself a "veggie aquan" or "aqua vegan" so in other words, a vegetarian who eats seafood.  I should not be eating pork (oh whoops!) damnit, damnit, damnit because it's my favorite roast.  Don't get me wrong, I love veggies, and I grow quite a few in my garden, but I am not sure I could go without meat.

So, I need to come to terms with tofu?  How about roast tofu in the shape of a chicken topped with roasted almonds and washed down with red wine. Stuff it, I am just going straight to the red wine. I had tofu in my laksa the other day.  I bought it home and used it to scrub my feet because I had to throw out my pumice stone recently due to an unfortunate incident with a sledge hammer (don't ask). Note to self: buy a new a new pumice stone.

Are they serious? How can they expect a carnivore from a dairy farming family to survive?  No steak? No chicken? Veggie stock instead of chicken/beef stock.. More veggie soups?

On the upside, it does indicate that I should avoid eggs and egg products.. This works to my benefit because I believe that eggs are just wrong because they come out of a chooks arse.  Lets look at it this way... Who on earth was the first person to say "I am gunna eat the first thing that comes out of that birds arse".  So needless to say, I am happy about the "say no to bumnuts" thing.. I'll adhere to that one.

Mother is reading about statistics now.. and I have made one up all on my own.. I would suggest that most of these statistics are particially made up.. So here is mine: 99.8% of MS patients read, so therefore reading is unhealthy.. It makes sense right?  There it is folks, close this blog and don't read it, because it's unhealthy.. You never know where these dirty words have been.. Please ensure that you wash your hands and clean your teeth after reading this blog, just to be sure.

Love you long time......

Diseases, Diets and Doctors...

I was having a chat to an old friend yesterday who is good for an unbiased second opinion on shit that is going though my head.

During the conversation he was asking about my situation. During my rant (voicing whatever was in my head) I voiced something that I hadn't thought of which upset me.

I am a large figured woman.  I am certainly not a stick figure, I am more like the Dawn French's of the world. I have always been a big girl, I am used to it.  It's not like I line up at McDonalds and KFC every day, quite the opposite.. I eat lots of fruit and veg and lean meat.. Most "fast food" repulses me and is not really something that I crave.  Although I have been craving KFC, but I soon turn myself off it by thinking that it's cooked in the spit of a thousand camels and that soon turns me off.

So, the general consensus is when someone sees a fatty is that we are "unhealthy".  Because of course, if you look closely, we have oil seeping out of our pores and bits of meat stick between our teeth..

My point here is that, as a buxom woman I have walked into Doctors rooms and been judged.  How many times have I gone in to see the Doctor because I have a cold or need a pap smear and been told "you need to loose weight". No shit Sherlock!   However, what humors me is that these comments come from Doctors who have NEVER seen me before.  How do they know that I haven't just lost 20 kgs thanks to a strict diet?   Do they honestly think that I don't know that I am overweight?  Do I look/sound like I lick windows because I don't know the difference between right and wrong?  Seriously!

Fortunately for me I have a great GP now who even gives me a hug after a Pap Smear..

Sorry, I got off my point..  My point is..  Even though I am a fatty I am active, happy..  I have been told that I really should loose weight because I will be more healthy, I really should loose weight and be happier..  I really should loose weight so I can have kids.  Yup, yup, yup....

HOWEVER, why is it that in the last four months I have been ailed by two separate things that are NOT related to my weight issue?  If I had been diagnosed with diabetes, heart issues, fatty liver etc then I would understand that COULD be related to my weight.  But, no.. Cancer and MS certainly are not related to my weight issue. 

So, whilst I understand that I am over weight and need to drop kilo's because, lets face it, I could still have issues with diabetes etc maybe being overweight isn't so unhealthy after all.

Ok, I think I am over it now.

Star signs... WTF???

The Moon's entry into emotional Cancer is not necessarily nurturing or gentle today as it opposes ruthless Pluto and squares Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn. Additionally, retrograde Mercury backs up between the Sun and the Earth, aligning our intentions with our thoughts, but it's difficult to get them out into the open. Arguing with a friend or lover about something unimportant pulls us further off course when Venus semisquares the Sun and Mercury.

I am confused.....  Let's try that again....

Friday, Sep 3rd, 2010 --
Your thoughts could take others for a ride today, but just because your ideas are far out doesn't necessarily make them better. Instead of rambling on and spinning tales of remote lands, try to keep your thinking process closer to home. Talking about your feelings and your needs will encourage intimacy between you and your loved ones instead of increasing the distance.

Are they serious?  I am like this everyday!  I quite often get my wonderful ideas poopoo'd (have you noticed that "poo" is today's theme word)..  I wouldn't dare mention my ideas in here in fear of someone taking the credit for my ideas.. This would upset me, a great deal.

Although I do think that I come up with some wonderful ideas that could potentially be million dollar money spinners the person I bounce most of these ideas off poopoo's them and doesn't take me seriously.  Although it often distresses me that he discounts my wonderful ideas such as a new concept for kitty litter using a natural resource that is readily available. 

I long for the day he takes me seriously enough.  That being said, I won't hold my breath.

Sorry, I am rambling....

I feel like I need to have some lunch..  Maybe this will relieve the headache I have..

Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo....

I really should give a shit. But in reality... I don't.

P&O the "we'll charge random strangers drinks to your credit card" Ship :)

Recently I went on a cruise with my Parents and Sister.  It was supposed to be 10 nights of smooth sailing, rest and relaxation.  SUPPOSED TO BE!

Although it was a nice break, it is now a distant memory and probably a waste of money in hindsight because of everything else that's happened.

Anyway, on the last day of the cruise I got my bill, and some random nuffy has charged $30 odd to my card for beer and cocktails..  So I discuss this with the other nuffy's at the reception desk.  I was handed a form "please fill this in and it will be credited to your credit card".. Long story short, some two months after the cruise that money for the alcohol I WISH I had drunk still has not been credited to my ailing credit card.

Right, so.. I got out my soap box and I stood firmly on it, puffed up my chest and took another steroid pill and rang P&O preparing to bite someone's head off and put on my best fowl attitude only to be disappointed by getting a Customer Service Rep (Nathan) who was exceptionally efficient, friendly and really couldn't do enough for me. DAMNIT! Disappointed! Why couldn't I have got a rude one? Maybe I hadn't arched up enough? Maybe I hadn't given the roids enough time to kick in? Have I lost my touch?

Needless to say, Nathan has taken on the task of ensuring that my issue is dealt with. Maybe he sensed the fact that I had the intention of ripping his head off.. Therefore he has the sense of fear..  He better be scared, cause if it isn't resolved, I'll let fly with two roid tablets!

Karra's Dinner

I came home tonight to the sound of sizzling stirfry on the stove.

Karra, god bless her cotton socks, was cooking a chicken stirfry.  Not that I expect to be thought of when she is cooking for herself, but it was nice to not have to think about what to cook for dinner.

Thanks Karra.

The Mentalheads...

For the purpose of this post, previous and future posts, and to protect the innocent I will refer to my two crazy cats as the "Mentalheads".

 Mostly I refer to them as the "Mentalheads" because they are exactly that.  Special little furry people who are mental.

Cali:
Is 7 years old. She has the biggest bluest eyes and when they look up at me they say "FEED ME because I am a staving little beafrian".

Cali's favorite pass times include:

• Frolicking in the backyard she can go eat grass and vomit it back up again right at the back door so you can step in it when you walk out.
• Harassing the Indian Minor Birds that perch on the neighbour's TV aerial.
• Ignoring humans.
• Practicing safe "stranger danger" drills by hiding in the coffee table when there is a strange noise or knock at the door.
• Avoiding the vacuum cleaner at all costs, regardless of whether it is being used or not. It is important to take precautions and give it a wide berth when walking past just in case it roars into life unexpectedly.
• Pooing in the bathtub.
• Catching moths and crickets and bringing them to me as presents.
• Carrying around her best buddy "Playbear" who is a purple stuffed bear and talking to him, mostly late at night.
• Plotting Gidget's demise.
• Opening cupboards and doors just for shits n giggles.
• Using the hallway as a runway.
• Quality assurance checks on groceries.
• Spending quality time with her Pa, Ma and Aunty Kez.

Gidget:
Is roughly about 4 years old.  She chose me.  She had been abandoned at a Hotel in Gundagai that I was staying at whilst I was on a work junket.  My fellow colleagues peer pressured me into taking her home because I was the only human she would go to or have a bar of. 

Gidget is deaf and does not understand the difference between an "inside voice" and an "outside voice", however this does not stop me from yelling at her when needed, then realising that there is no point to it.

I have a recording of the average morning vocals on my mobile as my sms tone. This serves a few purposes:

• It is great to see people's reactions in random places such as lifts, shopping centres and Chinese restaurants.
• It reminds me that I should be home at reasonable hours so I do not get a lecture as I drive in the driveway.
• It is different to everyone else's ring tones. So I don't have to do the "quick draw" when in a meeting and everyone has their iphone set to the same sms tone because they don't know how to change it, 12 o'clock flasher style.  

 There is a picture of Gidget in a previous post sitting on my CT Scans. 

 Gidget's favorite pass times include:

• Chasing a laser light up and down the hallway.
• Harassing Cali when she is trying to use the "kitten's powder room"
• Plotting the death of "Cindy" the neighbourhood stray who looks remarkably like her and is her arch Nemesis.
• Telling the world just how she feels by expressing herself vocally with no decorum whatsoever.
• Headbutting an intended victim, sometimes continuously to get her point across. The chosen victim may have no idea what her point is and move away in confusion.
• Dominating the sofa.
• Lying in the front window of the house waiting for me to arrive home. Then proceeding to voice loudly in disgust at the late hour in which I choose to come home by pacing backwards and forwards up the window sill meowing, again with no decorum.
• Visiting neighbours which could also be seen as "Neighbourhood Patrol".
• Assisting in the mowing of lawns, gardening and hanging out of washing.
• Supervising tradesmen (which includes headbutting and voicing her opinion on their workmanship).
• Spreading as much kitty litter around the laundry as kittenly possible.
• Supervising human toilet breaks and shower rituals.
• Harassing her Pa, Ma, Aunty Kez and Aunty Karra.
• Swearing at Vets (oh my bleeding ears!).
• Mousing (which for a deaf cat, she is pretty darn good at).

I hope this clears up your questions about who the "Mentalheads" are.  :)

Wise words from me to you...

Don't question the sisterhood.. Just accept it.  Even if you are a bloke.


Ok, so maybe these words aren't so wise.. Maybe they are more meaningful.  Well, maybe they are only meaningful to some.. And in saying "some", I don't mean that you have to wear special pants, conduct and participate in secret ceremonies (which may or may not involve window licking and/or watching re-runs of Gilmore Girls, MacGyver or the Twilight Trilogy) or anything to be part of the sisterhood, you just have to be you :)

You know who you are and you are loved.... UNCONDITIONALLY.

Right, now... I'll go put the popcorn on, grab the bag of M&M's and make us a cup of coffee while you load the DVD and find yourself a comfy spot on the sofa between the Mentalheads.